Our Story Is Not Genuine, As I Expected
by Link8
Summary: Hikigaya takes on Yuigahama's request. Will he persevere through adversity or will he find himself entangled into unexpected romance? Only time will tell… [AU]
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1**_

Everyone is invested in some sort of topic at the particular time of 12:36 p.m. I could hear the sound of faint unified whispers, though my ears couldn't make out any words except for 'date' and 'dating'. As far as I know, Hayama and Isshiki could be dating. Who gives a shit? Maybe most of the existing student body. But, not me.

Inserting earbuds into my ears, I play a personal playlist on my phone and figure it's best to ignore the world (in this case, Class 2-F) so I place my head down on the desk, shut my eyes, and lay low.

Now managing to block out voices and faces, my mind fell deep into thought. _Humans, why do they spread rumors?_

The answer, _approval_. Or, _to belong_.

They viewed life like some popularity contest and are shallow individuals, insecure about themselves. Wanting others to pay attention to them or to be popular to validate their self worth. In hopes to climb up the social ladder. To control the narrative of other people's lives in order to feel important. And also for the drama. Oh yeah, can't forget about the drama. Then before you know it...

That rumor.

Like a virus, it spreads. Shared from person to person. The rumor will eventually suffice to nothing, but only upon the occurrence of a more recent one, a more juicier one. Regardless if the rumor's true, false, or somewhere in between those lines; it'll likely be fabricated to a fault to generate interest amongst peers.

Due to the–

 _ikki..._

What's that buzzing sound?

 _ikki..._

I lost my train of thought.

 _ikki..._

Is there a playback issue wi—

The earbud in my left ear falls out forcefully followed by, "Hikki."

No choice but to open my eyes at this point. This girl has no respect for anyone's personal space, does she? Pulling stuff from out my ear when I want to recuperate, remain undetected, and most of all, stay out of people's way.

"U-Uh," She rubs her head before continuing, "Am I bothering you, Hikki?"

ARE YOU?!

"Yeah. What is it, Yuigahama?" I bluntly asked, removing the other earbud from my ear.

"H-Hikki," She said. Then she repeats herself. "H-Hikki..." This time her voice softer and lower, she starts to blush. "I," she says, then reworded, "We—" She paused, seemingly unsure of what to say.

"Spill it," I deadpanned.

"Why don't both we have lunch together? J-Just us." Her smile a bit lopsided.

"Pass."

My response cause her smile to vanish instantly.

"But, Hikki—"

"It's not like you're lunching alone like some of us," I cut her off. "I wouldn't want our fellow classmates to get the wrong idea, to assume that we're a coup–"

"Hikki!" Yuigahama start to flail her arms in my face as if I had almost said something wrong. My eyes trail off to see an unwelcoming sight.

Behind Yuigahama and from every other possible angle of the classroom, a majority–if not all–of Class 2-F's occupants are witnessing the scene unfold. From Tobe to Hayama to Ebina to Miura to Kawasaki to—well, everyone's a spectator at this point. Their prying eyes directed towards me now, and mines alone.

Great. Just what I wanted: attention. At this point, I rather die. Better that than to be observed like some caged animal.

My focus reverted back toward a more composed Yuigahama and before I could manage a word, she said: "I'll meet you during lunch, okay," tiptoeing back to her clique, stops midway, before adding, "After all, I'm your girlfriend, Hikki."

 _Wait... W-What?!_

* * *

At my lunching spot, I anticipated Yuigahama's eventual arrival. A bit out of character for me to want a guest, but I was left no other option. I need answers and I need them now, my patience's running thin. Well... not really. Still...

Anyway...

All I could do is sit and wait. Rummaging through my bag, I withdraw a can. MAX Coffee, an everyday staple of mines. The perfect cooling agent to counter such a hot, luminous day. One thing it cannot counter, however, is today's events.

Since Yuigahama said what she said in class, that, ' _After all, I am your girlfriend, Hikki_ ,' thirty minutes earlier, I failed to comprehend exactly what the hell was going on. Why would she say that? I had zero idea. All I knew is that she is responsible for the rumors, and now our entire class believes it.

Is that a bad thing, though? That they think we're together...

Honestly, no.

I mean, what guy would ever deny dating someone like Yuigahama? She's one of the most popular girls here at Soubu High, not to mention extremely beautiful, and above all, well-liked by ninety-nine percent of the entire student body. Dating her would certainly skyrocket anyone's reputation in a heartbeat, earning props from the cool kids. Elevate their respective high school years to its fullest potential, and the opportunity to date someone of her caliber doesn't come around too often unless, of course, you are popular then there stood a fighting chance. It's every high school student's dream to date a popular girl.

But I wasn't the average high school student. I'm smarter than the average teen and my realist mindset is what separates me from the rest of the pack. I aspired to avoid complications, such as relationships since I classified myself as a cynical loner. And cynical loners don't meddle in relationships.

Besides, she's not my girlfriend by any means. Hell. Yuigahama barely qualified as my friend. More of an acquaintance, if anything. And now we're lovers, apparently. What a pelicular day!

I took several stiff sips of my beverage. Sweet, but not too sweet. As time went on, I heard my name–well, the moniker I was given–shouted from close proximity.

"Hikki."

 _Finally_ , I thought.

Yuigahama plops down on the steps right next to me, sporting a vivacious smile. I avert my gaze away, waiting silently for her to speak. Eventually she did, but it wasn't what I want to hear.

"Have you eaten? A-Are you hungry?" Her voice innocent as she blushes, her face red like a tomato, "I-I set the alarm pretty early this morning. Bentos turned out really good!"

I'm starving, but didn't want to give her the satisfaction. "No." Unfortunately I left my wallet at home.

At that moment, as if my body decided to betray me, my stomach growls audibly. I hear it, and now, so did the girl beside me who starts chuckling.

She then lay her bag across her lap and rifles into it, pulling out two wooden boxes. She set one of the boxes gently on her lap. "Uh, this one's for you, Hikki." She holds out her offering to me. I had decline the bento a total of nine times, but she's pretty damn intent on me eating it. "Want to know, or not?" She asked, visibly annoyed. That's pretty low of Yuigahama.

I sigh in utter defeat, ultimately accepting it. I didn't bother to thank her, though. Why would I? Eating her food is the equivalent of committing suicide. And I didn't appreciate the fact I'm being threaten to do so. Like, how am I suppose to ' _know_ ' if I'm dead?

I clap both my hands together and pray to God in silence. I pray that the bento will not take my life. That if I do, in fact, die; that Komachi will be in good hands and wind up rich and publish a light novel about me, Onii-Chan. An anime adaptation, too. Yuigahama would also be banned from ever setting foot in a kitchen for the rest of her–

A closed fist connected against my shoulder.

I open one eye to see one disgruntled Yuigahama. "So mean, Hikki! Could at least try it, you know."

I allow a sigh to escape my lips, without a word, slide open the bento. The contents inside... looked edible. Not burnt, looked appetizing actually. Huh, perhaps her culinary skill improved a bit.

* * *

"Your burnt cookies are better by comparison." I fake-gagged, using MAX Coffee as mouth wash. The aftertaste of undercooked chicken and vegetables lingered in my throat.

"HIKKI!" A frown slapped across her face, her fist clenched.

"So are you gonna continue to pout?" I asked. "You owe me answers, Yuigahama."

Once that was said, she told me everything. The day before, after the end of the Service Club, Tobe approached her and asked to be her boyfriend. In a panic, she mentioned she have a boyfriend: me. She didn't want to hurt the poor guy by rejecting his offer, so she lied and Tobe texted someone who texted someone else who texted someone else after that, thus creating a chain reaction (though he didn't mention to anybody about asking her out).

Truly, Yuigahama's way of handling the situation is despicable. A no would be fine. Sure the guy might get a little discouraged, but it's better than lying about being taken by someone. That person will have a sense of false hope, and what's going to stop him from asking her out if when she's 'single' again.

Tobe picked Yuigahama because she's an easy target. He doesn't harbor any feelings for her as he does Ebina-san, but... he's desperate. He want to date someone at the moment, regardless of circumstances, so he rolled the dice on Yuigahama, failing (and after my social suicide act during the Kyoto field trip, of course Tobe couldn't ask Ebina).

"Tobecchi still doesn't believe me. Think I'm lying—"

"You are lying."

"Let me finish, Hikki!"

So I allowed her to continue.

Once she finished, All I heard was 'I didn't wanna hurt the group blah blah' and other things I half-listened to.

Then she dropped the bomb…

"Hikki, as a request..." She cooed, twirling her bangs with a fidget. "My request to you: Will you be my boyfriend? Just until everything's normal again."

I looked at her dumbfoundedly, mouth ajar. Her gaze dipped to the ground. I was preparing to say something but lost my train of thought. If I said yes, at the end of it all, I would be expected by the rom-com Gods to fall in love with Yuigahama.

Fake dating had all kinds of flaws, cliche tropes that followed. Such as the fake couple in the process of the 'relationship' actually end up liking one other, and in conclusion, wind up getting together once it all said and done like some bullshit fairytale ending. One of light novels I read in the past had the same exact structure.

First, there's a misunderstanding, rumor, or even some justified reason for the two characters to handle amongst themselves. They put on a ruse, pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and do that for a extended period of time. Usually the characters are polar opposites so they clash a lot, and there are complications that follow. Somewhere in the middle, one of them realizes they're in love with the other. Then... you know the rest.

They get together, confess their love, kiss passionately, and the credits roll.

Even after all that, I decided to take on the challenge. To beat the rom-com Gods who presented me with this scenario. Besides… Yuigahama already claim me as her boyfriend, there is virtually nothing I could do in this predicament.

"Fine," I said, causing Yuigahama to turn to me in shock, moist-eyed.

She wasn't surprised that I accepted her terms. She was surprise I'd accepted without any thought, without even declining once, before she'd eventually try to reason with me, some ad-libbed ultimatum. Her trembling eyes told me the entire story.

"Hikki..." she muttered.

"But..." I raised a finger. "We will establish some ground rules—"

"G-Ground rules?" Puzzled, Yuigahama tilted her head. Her bun drooping ever so slightly.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Like what, Hikki?"

"Well, for starters, no kis—"

Ironically the bell cut me off.

And off to the races fled Yuigahama, a trail of smoke left in her wake. Never, in my seventeen years of life, have I seen someone move at the speed of light...

Until now.

The rom-com Gods won this round.

But I'll ultimately best them, for I, Hikigaya Hachiman, will not fall in love with Yuigahama Yui.

 _ **A/N: Just to let everyone know, I made Hikki a bit more cruel intentionally. I know he changes a little by Season 2 (also in the LNs by this point) but for the purpose of story; he's a bit more of an asshole (well, kinda).**_

 ** _Anyways, I'd appreciate feedback._**

 ** _Thanks for reading._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, favorites & follows. Truly appreciate it, you guys.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Oregairu.**_

* * *

 ** _Chapter 2: Decisively, the Fire Queen Seize the Opportunity Ahead_**

 _ **...**_

Five minutes had passed since the bell sounded. The time on my phone read 1:35. The temperature dropped around the low sixties, a pleasant sea breeze started to form, and the sun a little less harsh. The day had took a dramatic turn, it was breathtaking; the scenery around me. Unfortunately, there was class to attend, so sitting around waiting for the day to end was not an option.

With a deep sigh, I stood from the steps with my bag, prepared to head back to Class 2-F. Then in the distance, I noticed a certain someone opposing that ideal, briskly heading back in this very direction, toward me.

A peach bun (apricot in the sunlight) and short skirt swayed in the developing sea breeze. It was Yuigahama approaching me— and she's sweating buckets, too. Like Zaimokuza's gloves after a marathon. _Need someone to walk with that badly, eh?_

Yuigahama held something in both her hands, one in each. My eyes failed to verify the two items she carried along— until she stopped in front of me, huffing tiredly, nevertheless, in good spirits. As expected of Yuigahama.

"Here you go, Hikki," said Yuigahama, smiling weakly.

In her extended hand, a can of MAX Coffee. Her other hand, a strawberry juice box, obviously for her.

Usually, I refrain from accepting things from others. But because it was MAX Coffee, I accepted her act of kindness with relative ease. Plus, I was a bit parched and Yuigahama already paid for it, so...

"Okay, um, thanks. I'll be sure to pay you back," I said, but Yuigahama vigorously shook her head.

"D-don't worry about that! It didn't cost me all that much anyway," replied Yuigahama in reassurance. "Y-your thanks is enough. Really, after all you do for me— it's the least I could do... f-for you..." Yuigahama voice trailed off, then she suddenly had this faraway look in her eyes as if she was reliving some excruciating memories. At moments like these, Yuigahama seemed helplessly vulnerable, but somehow that boosted her charm, too.

Whether it was because we were at an absolute standstill or because she notice me staring—er, looking, Yuigahama, suddenly red-faced, came to a conclusion; the reason she came in the first place.

"L-let's go to class, Hikki."

Silently, I nodded. Then we headed for the main building.

The halls of the falicity was completely empty at this particular time, and Yuigahama and I strolled down the hallway at the same pace. Well, I should say that Yuigahama wanted to match said pace. If I were to move at a certain speed, she mimicked said speed. It would be so we're always beside one another, symmetrically intact. Apparently, that's how "walking with Hikki" should be in her book. Not that I mind, though. I'm used to it.

It was silent. The only sound being our footsteps tapping rhythmically against the linoleum. Probably not for long, though, because I expect Yuigahama to strike up a conversation any second now. I mean, this was Yuigahama after all; it's bound to happen. I excelled in the art of silence, so striking first wasn't exactly my strong suit and the silence didn't bother me. I chug at the caffeinated beverage as I anticipated a conversation to start up. _This is what heaven taste like. It tastes even better free, too._ Something of a smile crept across my face.

"..."

From the corner of my eyes, Yuigahama stared me intently with attentive peach eyes. I avert my eyes to the ceiling, to avoid her deafening stare.

This remind me of a time when I would go over to eat dinner at a relative's. They would say something like, ' _Come eat with everybody. Don't be shy, Hachi_.' Then everybody else chimed in, too, and say, _'W_ _e're family, aren't we?'_ or ' _It's not good to eat by yourself all the time, how'll you get a girlfriend?'_ Next thing you know, you're surrounded by eighteen family members (not including your parents or sister). As the elders converse about work, their kids, Chiba-related stuff, etc.; you're feeling somewhat comfortable and stuff yourself with rice and wagu while everybody forgets about your existence, then—' _HAAAACHHHHHIIIIII, THERE'S SOME RICE ON YOUR FACE, KIDDO!_ '—Caught off guard, mouth filled to capacity with rice and meat, realizing more than a sea of eyes are hovering in your direction; you're overwhelmed with nausea. Silence followed with hysterical laughter. ' _WA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAA!'_

In comparison, this was nothing. Not by a long shot. But still, it's too much pressure when others stare at you while you'd eat/drink. Like, can't we all come to some nuetral understanding? As I dwelled in my thoughts, Yuigahama spoke.

"Honestly," whispered Yuigahama.

I looked to Yuigahama, her face downcast. "Hmm?"

Stabbing the straw into her juice box, Yuigahama said in a low shaky voice, "I'm really surprised you'd accepted my request, Hikki. That you'd help me out with something like this…" before taking her beverage. It appeared as though Yuigahama became smaller and along with that, the hall oozed a depressing, somber aura. Even the way she sipped on the straw was depressing.

 _I didn't have much of a choice, though._ Yuigahama fabricated a lie to reject Tobe gently and, in turn, he took it upon himself to spread said lie (for some pelicular reason). Therefore, the damage had been done whether I accepted it or not. I had no say in the matter. Regardless, it seemed to be troubling Yuigahama a great amount. If so—

I place a hand over my mouth, clearing my throat. "Ahem, it's not you forced my hand or anything of the sort. This is nothing out of my element. Despite the circumstances, I'd end up helping out one way or another, I suppose." That first part was a lie, but I'm trying my best to put Yuigahama at ease. _That's actually worth a lot of Komachi points._

Hearing my somewhat uplifting words, Yuigahama jerked her head up to face me. "Hikki... do-do you mean that?" She asked, and I nodded several times. Yuigahama seemed a bit more relieved, although not completely.

"If you feel crappy for involving me... Don't. There's no alternative scenario where you nor Tobe would come out unscathed if it hadn't come down to this, to us—d-dating." _Crap,_ _that felt weird._ Perhaps should've worded it differently, the last part. But it's too late now. "...me accepting your request."

Maybe not that late.

Yuigahama opened her mouth but immediately closed it, granting me the spotlight, so I continued on.

"Similar to Ebina, you wanna remain friends with Tobe to retain status quo within the clique. Tobe's feelings for Ebina haven't wavered one bit, however, it wouldn't hurt to date someone in the meantime, so why not Yuigahama? She's nice and like to please everyone. He projected that image of you when the decision to ask you came about. This was the only way to effectively handle the situation." Yukinoshita would beg to differ. Speaking of Yukinoshita—

"It's no-not j-just that, Hikki..." Yuigahama revealed briefly. "It sounds kinda selfish but... it's also b-because—" She paused searching for the right words, exhaling a deep breath, mustering her resolve. Her dewy peach eyes caught hold of mines, not letting go. _This_ _definitely is the peach Mangekyō Sharingan._

Releasing a deep breath, Yuigahama finished at last.

"—Because I'm in love."

"?!" _Thump._ At a loss for words, my face froze stock-still unclear of emotion.

Her words was below a whisper, but I heard her just fine. The halls remained overwhelmingly silent, so there's no way in hell I could miss it. On the off chance that happened, that would mean my ears are just as rotten as my eyes. I wouldn't mind if that were the case right about now. _How does one react to something of this magnitude? Especially a loner who lacked expertise in the field... Damn, have I perhaps miscalculated my words? No one to blame but myself, I suppose._

Realizing her slip of the tongue, Yuigahama broke into a cold sweat, attempting to recover from her blunder.

"B-bu-bu-but, anyway, like...Thanks, Hikki. I-I feel a whole lot better... 'cause of you." She smiled, before turning her head away shyly.

Silence.

Things got really angsty there. The atmosphere's no longer somber, but as it currently stands, things are pretty awkward as of now— at least to me. Especially with Yuigahama's _in love_ declaration still floating about in the air. What's more, this was only the first day, and it felt like the final arc of the cour. If I'm going to partake in this romantic debacle, I rather avoid all the angst and drama, and just play the supporting role. I can look pass Yuigahama dragging me in her personal business, however, I won't tolerate becoming the end product of a superficial romantic relationship. Liberties needed to be taken to prevent such a thing from happening.

First, a reset must be initiated. To create impartial balance, so that Yuigahama doesn't feel indebted to me and things could remain the same, or somewhat the same. But it'd required me to get out my comfort zone, and that was to ask for something in return for my services. This way, Yuigahama doesn't burden herself anymore now or later on down the line. If Yuigahama felt she owed me, all I had to do was set a price, and come to an agreement. In other words, equivalent exchange for both parties.

"Yuigahama, let's make a trade."

"T-trade? What kinda trade, Hikki?" asked Yuigahama.

"One can a week."

Yuigahama turned to me with a quizzical look. "Huh?"

I held the MAX Coffee up between our face to clarify. "One can a week. For my involvement in your personal affairs, one can a week in trade. Say this goes on another two weeks, so two cans. Three weeks, three cans. So on and so forth. Surely that's a small price to pa—"

"I'll do one everyday, Hikki!" exclaimed Yuigahama in a energetic, joyous tone. I was taken aback with how the mood shifted so suddenly. "Hmm, so... si—seven!" _You're trying to negotiate up the price? It would be five not seven, only school days._ Guess Yuigahama won't be marketing in the future. _At least it's not awkward anymore._

"One's fine..."

"Ooooooh! I'll cook lunch for you, toooo! Would you like that, Hikki?" Yuigahama clenched her fists, all pumped up.

Not expecting additional bonuses, I scratched my head questionably. "S-sure..." I guess that could included in our deal, too, even if the food isn't so tasty. But it's the thought that counts. _Oh, right. I should thank Yuigahama for providing me lunch earlier._ "And thanks for lunch. Forgot to thank you, so..."

"Yeah and you were, like, really mean, too. It's soooo unlike you. I'm super upset. How will you make it up to me?" _At least sound convincing._ Yuigahama snapped her fingers. "Oh, I know... you treat me to cake. Yeah, I want to be treated to cake!"

 _Cake, eh?_ "Fine, name the place," I said, "and we'll go sometime."

Yuigahama pushed her index fingers together, face red all of a sudden. "Well, there is this bakery that recently opened up inside the mall. I hear it's really, really delicious. I-is today... any good?" muttered Yuigahama, glancing at me.

"My wallet's at home," I explained.

"I'll pay for the cake! I-I don't mind, Hikki."

"Technically, it wouldn't count as 'my treat,' though."

Yuigahama _oh_ ed then tilted her head oh so slightly. "Tomorrow?"

 _Tomorrow's Saturday_. No good, either. "I have plans—" Right away, I knew that was a terrible excuse. A loner never have any plans. Yuigahama scrunched her brows in apparent disbelief.

"You're gonna be sitting at home all day!" Yuigahama remarked.

 _Yeah... and I'm not ashamed of it whatsoever. Sacrificing weekend time is off-limits for someone like me. It's sacred. I prefer to spend that time alone... with Komachi, too._ "I mean, I'm still treating you to cake, right?"

Yuigahama didn't reply, but she didn't need to. The radiant smile on her face was telltale enough.

* * *

We ascended the staircase at the same pace and our journey came to an end. To the right, Class 2-F, as to be expected. What wasn't expected, someone to be outside the classroom.

Leaned against the door was a blonde girl. Like Yuigahama beside me, she violated school regulation regarding uniforms; a short skirt that revealed enough flesh to get one excited. She was as terrifying as she was beautiful, if not more. Golden locks of curls that glistened seamlessly in the sun. Piercing olive green eyes that could penetrate your soul with one hard look. Regardless of her reigning social hierarchy, one would not forget her face or name without difficulty. It was the most popular girl in our class: Miura Yumiko.

Miura clacked away at her phone, not yet noticing our presence. It appeared as if she was waiting for quite some time, considering how zoned out she was to not have heard our footsteps. Granted, she was on her phone. Probably in the process of ordering her high-end makeup.

"Yumiko!" Yuigahama called out to her. Miura looked up from the screen at us with a vague smirk, before pocketing her phone. Miura leaned up a bit straighter, hands on her hips. Yuigahama advanced toward her friend with sure footsteps, whereas I trailed behind Yuigahama slowly, hoping to go unnoticed.

"My, look who's back. You kept me waiting, y'know. What took so long, Yui?" Miura asked Yuigahama in a teasing voice, prompting Yuigahama's cheeks to turn red. Miura knew why. _Why are you waiting out here in the first place?_

"I-I was walking back with Hikki." Yuigahama stopped by the side of the door, several inches away from Miura.

"Hikio, huh?"

Miura narrowed her olive green eyes at me, and immediately, my entire body shivered as a result. As I reached for the door hoping to escape her gaze, someone's arm blocked my path to freedom. Of course, Yuigahama wouldn't cut off my only means of escape. The arm, obviously, belonged to the Fire Queen; the only other person in the halls.

"C'mon, Hikio. Let's talk for a sec."

Reflexively, I took several steps back. At times like this I'd wonder; why Miura, practically royalty, want to chat with a commoner like me? But the answer was blatantly obvious. It regarded her friends, more specifically, Yuigahama, the person I'm currently "dating." Still, this was a strange sight to behold. Something felt off about this whole exchange.

Miura glared daggers at me. _Geez, how scary can you be?_ "You better not be mistreating Yui, Hikio. If I find out about it, you'll reg—"

Yuigahama intervened, violently flailing her arms in front of her chest. "Hikki wouldn't do anything like that! Really. Yumiko, he's not that kinda person," Yuigahama protested. Although it was to be expected, Yuigahama coming to my defense was truly touching.

"Just lookin' out for you," Miura said to Yuigahama, "I personally wouldn't date him, so I dunno what goes on inside that head of his. Hikio's Hikio. I mean, it can't be helped." _Hikio's Hikio? Is Hikio_ _the standard for wrongdoing or something?_ The Fire Queen's eyes shifted on me maliciously. "Now I wanna hear it from you... you aren't mistreating Yui, are you?" Her voice intense like a raging inferno.

I scratched at my head roughly. "N-No..." _What's the point of this?!_ Miura is way too intimidating right now, so I didn't question her intentions. Her arm no longer guarded the door, but I knew entry was futile until the Fire Queen gave the command.

Noticing my discomfort, Yuigahama put one hand on Miura's shoulder attempting to lead her into the classroom. "He-he, I think Hikki don't wanna talk about this right now." _Correction: ever._

Under the weight of Yuigahama's pull, Miura didn't so much as budge a muscle. Even though they were of similar builds. Either Yuigahama's really weak, or Miura was really determined to stay in place. I assumed the latter.

"I'm not done yet. Don'tcha think I, your friend, need to know all about the guys you're dating? So I'm starting to know Hikio here." I knew that's not true. Regardless if I actually was "dating" Yuigahama or not, Miura had no interest in getting to know me at all.

Yuigahama's face flushed red. "Y-yeah, but I dunno if now's a good time..." _There'll never be a good time, either,_ I thought, looking at the two girls before me.

"That's up for him to decide, isn't it?" Miura's words persuaded Yuigahama, who's now seemingly convinced. "Hikio, how 'bout it? Wanna talk?" Her voice sharp like a knife. _Do I really have a choice?_

"I have no objections..." Which was a lie. _Could we not do this right now? Or... ever._

"Hikio, how long have you been dating Yui for?" asked Miura in a flat voice. _Is this some kind of test?_ Does she not believe Yuigahama? No, that's not it. Analyzing the situation, Miura believed her one-hundred percent (perhaps even two-hundred, if possible). I mean—to the Fire Queen—why would her friend lie about dating Hikigaya Hachiman, the loner of Class 2-F? Unless Miura knew about what was going on, there's no real reason to distrust Yuigahama. It could just be that Yuigahama didn't get into all the details and whatnot with her clique. Even so, I gave a cautious, ambiguous answer.

"Yuigahama didn't say?"

"Yui didn't wanna bring it up. Just answer the question, Hikio." The Fire Queen spewed flames.

"...Two weeks." Was my improvisational lie. In actuality, zero weeks. No, zero minutes.

Miura place a hand on her chin. "I see... Two weeks, huh? And you guys went on a date yet?"

"No, nothing like that."

Miura's eyes widened, bewildered. "Huh? Why not? It's a boyfriend's job to keep his girlfriend happy, isn't it? You'd think after two weeks, it'd be the fifth, sixth date." Miura shrugged her shoulders as if to say, _But that's just my opinion, though_.

I don't know anything about the world of dating and relationships and all that lovey-dovey crap (other than what I see in anime and manga/light novels), but I'm positive no one goes on that many dates in a span of fourteen days. If so, break up with that person immediately. You're taking away from somebody's Komachi time; she needs her Onii-chan. And is it only up to the men to maintain stability in a relationship? That sounds like a lot of hard work. Relationships are supposed to be a team effort, no? Or is that the Fire Queen's viewpoint on the matter? Either way, relationships are extremely complicated, as I expected. Especially these superficial ones.

Yuigahama, due to the silence, threw herself into the mix. "Hikki's gonna treat me to cake, though!" Yuigahama's loud out-of-nowhere reply startled Miura a little.

"Oh, at that new sweets shop inside the mall?" Miura pried. Yuigahama nodded in response, and Miura then asked, "When?"

"I wanna go tomorrow, but..." Yuigahama thought it over then glanced at me as if only I had the answer. Miura noticed, and was now waiting for me to reply instead of Yuigahama. We didn't specify a day, so it's only natural Yuigahama had no answer. I wouldn't expect her to improvise on the spot.

"Next week, I guess," I finished.

"Eh? Next week? Why not Saturday?" Miura scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You gotta, like, get out of the house sometimes, Hikio. It's not healthy to sit inside all day, y'know." Since when had the Fire Queen gave a shit about my well-being? Oh yeah, she doesn't. Where was this conversation heading exactly? What's she trying to achieve?

I highly doubt this was out of mild curiousity. Yuigahama most likely assumed that this was the case. That Miura wanted to obtain information regarding our "relationship" because her friend's involved. But I'm perceptive enough to see pass the illusion. Even if Yuigahama had provided details the period before, and answered the questions Miura was currrently asking me; I bet I'd probably still be chatting with Miura right here, right now, albeit under different conditions.

I sensed a sinister plot afoot.

No way in hell the Fire Queen interacted with me, Hikigaya Hachiman, without some kind of compulsory initiative, or scheme that benefited her hidden agenda. Although I remained skeptical, I didn't bother brainstorming the wide range of possibilities. Right now, all I wanted was to sit down at my desk, and eavesdrop while I pretended to be asleep.

"How 'bout it, Hikio? Saturday, then?"

"Huh? O-oh yeah, sure."

"Really, Hikki!" Yuigahama beamed. _A bit surprised you didn't catch on there._

At this point, I might as well comply with the Queen. It made no damn sense as to why she cared which day I go to eat cake with Yuigahama, but it doesn't matter. I actually do not intend to follow through with it. I'll just let Yuigahama know after homeroom or something, she'll understand. Besides, it's not like Miura's coming with us anyway, thus no drawback to lying. Though, I'll have to break the news and inform Yuigahama that I was lying to avoid her friend's constant pestering. Hopefully, we're done here.

However...

"We'll join you, too," said Miura to no one in particular.

 _WAIT, WHAT?!_

My face stiffened, her motive now clear as day to me.

A question mark floated over Yuigahama's bun. "We?"

I wasn't in their clique, and knew instantly who Miura was referring to. Obviously it had to be Hayama Hayato. _So that's your move, eh...? Piggybacking off this fake relationship to create a "double-date" scenario so there'd be development in your nonexistent romance with Hayama. I gotta say, your execution for getting to this point, was awfully sloppy. Hayama will see pass it and realize it's not a typical hang-out._

This was definitely a spur-of-the-moment decision for the Fire Queen, otherwise this operation of hers would've felt more complete. It did not feel organic at all. A rushed, slapdash attempt.

Miura slid the door open and called for someone. "Hayato." Hayama, as I expected.

Yuigahama walked up right next to me, to make room for Hayama to stand beside the Queen. Yuigahama's mouth formed a perfect O. She must've predicted what was about to go down.

"What's up, Yumiko?" Coming out the door was Hayama Hayato rocking his usual smile that complimented his handsome profile. He occupied the spot that Yuigahama had surrendered, by the side of the door, before shutting the door behind him. His presence made Miura shrieked internally, I bet.

I felt so out of place. Surrounded by Yuigahama and her popular friends with their friendship. _I'm in a raijuu huddle! Hey, don't look at me with that fake smile, Hayama!_

Realizing I played no role here, I made a beeline for the classroom as Miura began to make her proposal. I slid the door open and entered Class 2-F. This time, the Fire Queen didn't stop me. I shut the door behind me, when a hand stopped it midway. It was Yuigahama's.

"I'm coming in, too, Hikki."

Once inside, Yuigahama slide the door shut behind her two friends.

I hate to say it, but Hayama Hayato determined my fate this upcoming Saturday. _Sigh._

I sat down at my desk, as usual. Yuigahama took the vacant one across me, which was unusual. She'd usually go to her friends. Apparently, her "boyfriend" was more important. Got to keep up appearances now, I don't mind. The chatter was abuzz as we entered, but since had evaporated to nothingness. The only voice I heard was Tobe. Although, I wasn't looking around the classroom, I felt a sea of eyes looking in our direction. A feeling I won't be accustomed to for the stretch of this "relationship."

"Yuigahama?"

"Huh, what is it?" Yuigahama place her arms onto my desk and leaned her face close to mine, to keep our conversation concealed. _Your face's a little too close!_

"If we end up double-dating tomorrow, I'll upping the price from one can to two," I said quietly, a little below her ear.

"I said seven, didn't I? We agreed on that. Seven a week?"

Yuigahama's breath warm against my face. I couldn't argue with her, but still that's too steep a price. "One. But two, if we end up going with them. I never agreed to seven."

"But I still cook for you everyday, right?" Yuigahama blushed a little, her lips slightly moist. The sunlight from the window reflected the features on her face, and my heart skipped a beat. _That's one dangerous beat._

I nodded. "I told you already, didn't I?"

"I'll improve on my cooking, too. Just you watch, Hikki. So you won't insult the food I work so hard to make for you," Yuigahama vowed, her eyes filled with conviction.

"I hope so, the chicken you made—" I stopped myself. "How good are you with yakisoba?"

"Huh? Oh. My mom's pretty good wit—" Yuigahama face brightened up even more, realizing the true intention of my question. "I'll make yakisoba next. Okay, Hikki. Since that's what you want."

"Eh? I didn't say that."

"Such a Hikki thing to say." Yuigahama shook her head with a exasperated sigh. I sensed a trace of sarcasm.

I heard Tobe whispering something again, but I couldn't hear him. Then I remembered what Yuigahama told me at lunch: _Tobecchi still doesn't believe me. Think I'm lying._

This is so out of my element, but its for Yuigahama's sake. "Yuigahama, do you have any cards or whatever? I'm bored." I said loud enough for him to hear.

"Aaaaaaah! Wanna play Mahjong?" Before I could answer Yuigahama's question, at least million Mahjong tiles dropped on my desk with a clack, courtesy of Yuigahama's bag. I was dumbfounded, but Tobe seemed to shut up.

"I'll take the Chiba tiles," I said.

"Okay, Hikki." Yuigahama grinned from ear to ear.

We played Mahjong in 2-F, while outside, Hayama's decision will determine the outcome of my Saturday.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Thanks for reading._**


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